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Britney Spears is opening up about how living under the conservatorship of her father has affected her life, telling a Los Angeles court, “I am traumatized.”
According to People, Spears appeared in court asking for her 13-year conservatorship to end, telling Los Angeles Judge Brenda Penny, “I don’t think I was heard on any level when I came to court last time.”
“I’ve lied and told the whole world I’m OK and I’m happy. It’s a lie,” People reports Spears as telling the court in her 30-minute long statement. “I’ve been in denial. I’ve been in shock. I am traumatized. Fake it ’til you make it, but now I’m telling you the truth, OK? I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m depressed. I cry every day.”
“I didn’t know I could petition the conservatorship to end. I honestly didn’t know that,” Spears said. “I’ve done more than enough. I don’t owe these people anything. I’ve roofed and clothed and fed people on the road. It’s demoralizing what I’ve been through. I’ve never said it openly – I never thought anyone would believe me. I’m not lying.”
“I just want my life back,” the I’m a Slave 4 U singer revealed. “It’s been 13 years and it’s been enough. I want to be able to be heard. I’ve kept this in for so long – it’s not good for my heart. I’ve been so angry and I cry every day. For my sanity … I need to get it off my heart. The anger, all of it. The main reason why I’m here today is I want to end the conservatorship without being evaluated.”
“I deserve privacy,” People reports Spears as saying. “I don’t feel like I can live a full life. They’re making me feel like I live in a rehab program. I do need a little therapy. I want to progressively move forward.”
“I want to get married and have a baby. This conservatorship is doing me way more harm than good. I deserve to have a life! I’ve worked my whole life. I feel ganged up on and I feel bullied and I feel left out and alone. I’m tired of feeling alone,” Spears admitted.
According to NPR, the hearing ended without resolution, although Judge Brenda Penny called Spears’ remarks “courageous” and said Spears would have to file a formal petition asking for her conservatorship to end before she could render a decision.